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14 Dec 2013

My Soul Mate Broke Up With Me, How Will I Ever Find Another?

Please help. I am looking for advice especially from those already married. I turned 28 this year and am currently in a work contract that won't allow me to marry until just before my 30th birthday so I'm not rushing to be married but it's been over 2 years since I have been "in love" and I'm afraid it's because my last relationship ruined my perspective on love.
I am American and I met a Yoruba working in America and we fell in love on day one. We literally talked for 12 hours straight. Just after a month I felt sure 100% he was the one I would marry and I never felt that before. 3 months later we were headed to Nigeria for his sisters wedding. Most of the trip was good his mother loved me and had a native outfit made for me and his dad showed us plots he had bought for the future generations. I later fell sick and I could see he was so scared he was going to lose me.

When the trip ended he went to UK to study and I went back to America to pursue a new career. We had planned to stay long distance but weeks after returning home he broke our relationship. He first said it was his family refusing to let their last born marry outside the Yoruba tribe. Later he said that wasn't the real reason but wouldn't say what it was.

Regardless I have been searching for a man that would give me those same strong feelings and within the first day or two. But it's over two years now and I have never experienced that soul mate love I had before. I've met lots of great men that love me a lot but I haven't even able to commit to them because after spending days with them I don't feel that love for them.

Before my Yoruba boyfriend, I would take at least months with someone to tell if I could love them and I advised friends to give themselves time to fall in love. But now, I expect to fall in love within a day or a few days at most.

I am so confused and frustrated because I feel like I am searching for something that may not exist. Did I ruin my one chance at true love? Should I be giving these guys a longer chance to make me fall in love with them? Do I keep waiting for the next one that takes my breath away instantly? If I still feel I love and could marry the one who disappointed me, should I remain single?

Thanks much.

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