Why Do I Always Attract The Wrong Sort of Men?

Dear Myne, I am sorry, I just have to pour this out. I tried taking my life and the very young guy who generally helps people around the street, saw me and even with my eye half closed (I thought I was dying) the guy still said I should borrow him 2000..  I just woke up so apparently this combination does not work.
Why do i consider this? I am 37. I have no boyfriend nor children. One of my married male colleagues is suggesting I go back (just relocated) that the single men here are out for what they can get, are mostly bitter over one thing or there other, are just not romantic and the married ones see nothing wrong being married and yet keeping families outside the homes. Its all like a game to them.

I do not date married men. All I want is a family. I am a normal woman and have dated in the past, most of them emotionally abusive relationship. I also have admirers presently but most if not all of them are married due to the nature of my job. An admirer noticed I looked ill last couple of weeks that he will get me something by the next day to cheer me up. The next week he said the same thing!

Myne i do not know what to look forward too, I have loved children from little. I am not perfect but when in relationships aren't something expected? Imagine Like lets go to the beach by 7pm, he doesn't show up, doesn't explain why. I am the one to call to find out. Or scenarios like calls during office hours to say romantic things or just I am thinking of you, what I get is borrow me money for this and that. I am fed up.

I am ok looking, very polite, have no airs about me, very friendly and willing to help but say i am in distress no one is there to help except God. An admirer came visiting when i took ill. I told him I haven't been able to eat anything, he says he will bring me something to eat NEXT WEEK.

Honestly I am not perfect and am not rude or bossy I DON'T DATE MARRIED MEN. Sorry my thoughts are not coherent.

I have no one of my own

someone to kneel and pray with

someone to ask me why i am still awake at 2am

someone to make plans with

someone to discuss the days together

someone who treats me as gently as i treat him and other people

someone to have children with.

I don't have anything to look forward too. Sorry my eyes are blurred and hands shaking. This is possibly a cry for help and any helpful word is welcome.